Encouraging My Children

In the last 24 hours I have had many reflective thoughts about being a wife and mother, especially. At some point I realized that I think many positive thoughts about my kids behaviors but many times I don't verbalize the encouragement (the same fits w/ Brad). For example, I was downstairs folding laundry this morning. Catherine and Coleman played upstairs a good 30 minutes without Catherine speaking "ugly" to Coleman. She wasn't bossy, she didn't get on to him for playing with her kitchen, .... it was so nice. I thought "Wow, they are playing so nice" and that was as far as it went- just a thought. So, challenging myself, I decided I really need to verbalize those thoughts. So, I hopped up the stairs, looked Catherine in the eyes and told her how glad I was that she and Coleman were playing nicely. Of course she just beamed. I told Coleman "Good Job" and we all High-Fived.

Much later in the afternoon, after Lincoln and Catherine had a good 30 minutes where they were picking on each other (with much whinning and tattling), I noticed happy sounds coming from the den. Lincoln and Catherine were having so much fun together. Their laughter was contagious. Again, I had my thought. But thankfully, I stopped and told them how happy I was watching them have so much fun. They grinned and immediately went back to semi-wrestling and taking turns kicking and chasing (no one got hurt) :)

There were a couple of other instances, and I feel that there are already results. This may not seem huge to you, but it so warmed my heart. We were out tonight, and Catherine almost fell asleep on the way home. After unbuckling his seatbelt, Lincoln looks around at Catherine (he sits in the back of the van), sees her eyes closed, and kisses her on the head. Most nights, he groans silly-like, at the thought of kissing his sister. But tonight, he noticed just how sweet Catherine is asleep. The expression on his face conveyed love and care for his sister. He WANTED to give her a kiss. With almost tears in my eyes, I told him that kissing his sister goodnight was SO sweet. He just grinned and gave me a thumb's up.

I am very affectionate with my children (Catherine resists it much more than the boys), and they will never wonder if I love them because I always tell them (2 things I vowed to do as a mom). But, when they grow up, I want them to remember that while I had to discipline the unwanted behaviors, I also lifted them up with words of encouragement in what they did right or well. That's going to be a hard challenge to do consistently, but I will continually pray for it to be so.